Sorry I've been MIA the past few days! Jet lag is such a bummer. But I've also been working on a video with the clips and photos I took in China. I had to put that insomnia to some kind of productivity!
This kind of summarizes my time in China chronologically by the places I went, with pictures of the children I was able to meet, for those of you who have wanted to see pictures. Of course a video cannot capture everything I felt and saw, but it does help to convey the emotions and feelings going on in my heart and mind.
Thank you for following my blog and for your encouraging words and comments! Knowing there was such a support team for me while I was in China, really helped me to have the courage to fully and completely love and give myself to these children. And in a way, it also felt like you guys were with me and experiencing this journey alongside me. I love you guys! And I am so thankful to God for all of you and for this opportunity I have had to go to China. I look forward to the day I can return to China, and hopefully by then I will be able to speak Chinese!
With love, Kelsi Macklin
P.S. here's the link to my video if you would like to watch it......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CbD11xoOUM
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
In Chicago!
Just landed in Chicago! Next flight to Phoenix and then finally home to Sacramento. Looking forward to finally being able to flush the toilet paper as opposed to throwing it away in the trash can! Also looking forward to brushing my teeth straight from the sink instead of always using bottled water. It's the little things we take so for granted in America.
As I sit here in the airport waiting for my flight, the faces of different children I have met these past 2 weeks keeps flashing through my mind. Little faces, tiny hands, loving hearts, big smiles, hands reached upward. Just wanting to be loved, hoping for a forever family to take them home. As much as I may have wanted to take them all home, that's not the solution to the problem or the issue. Ultimately what these children need is Jesus. God knows their beginning and their end and His love for them far surpasses mine. It's so hard to let go. I don't want to. I just want to hold them in my arms and love them.
It was really cool, in the Beijing airport I saw this Caucasian couple with 2 Asian little girls. Probably around 7 or 8. One of the little girls was in a stroller and appeared to have some special needs, cerebral palsy perhaps. I went over to talk to them and one of the little girls, Hannah, who was 8, they had adopted 7 years ago. They were returning to adopt their second little girl named Olivia who was 7 and a special needs child. The one thought in my mind was hope. There is always hope. God's plans and ways are so much higher and greater than our own. I assume they were Christians because when I told them I had just returned from Maria's Big House of Hope, they were very familiar with Steven Curtis Chapman.
It was just such a neat witness of God's grace and faithfulness. Despite what we as humans may view as the impossible, so many children that need homes and families, God knows each child and their individual story and their personal needs. He is the God who loves them and will provide for each one of them.
This is my friend Stacey from Shepherd's Field. She is also 21. She's been an orphan since she was 4. She has a beautiful voice and likes to dance!
This is my home boy Eli at Maria's. He's two and about the most precious little boy ever! He's a bit mischievous but so sweet and happy!
This cutie is Samuel. He has the most beautiful smile. Whenever I came into his room, he'd crawl up to me smiling and holding his arms up to me.
This is Joey. He's the toughest and most determined little guy I have ever met! He doesn't let anything ever get in his way or stop him.
I should stop now, before I get all teary eyed and whatnot. I just keep reminding myself that God knows and He holds each of these precious little children in his hands.
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As I sit here in the airport waiting for my flight, the faces of different children I have met these past 2 weeks keeps flashing through my mind. Little faces, tiny hands, loving hearts, big smiles, hands reached upward. Just wanting to be loved, hoping for a forever family to take them home. As much as I may have wanted to take them all home, that's not the solution to the problem or the issue. Ultimately what these children need is Jesus. God knows their beginning and their end and His love for them far surpasses mine. It's so hard to let go. I don't want to. I just want to hold them in my arms and love them.
It was really cool, in the Beijing airport I saw this Caucasian couple with 2 Asian little girls. Probably around 7 or 8. One of the little girls was in a stroller and appeared to have some special needs, cerebral palsy perhaps. I went over to talk to them and one of the little girls, Hannah, who was 8, they had adopted 7 years ago. They were returning to adopt their second little girl named Olivia who was 7 and a special needs child. The one thought in my mind was hope. There is always hope. God's plans and ways are so much higher and greater than our own. I assume they were Christians because when I told them I had just returned from Maria's Big House of Hope, they were very familiar with Steven Curtis Chapman.
It was just such a neat witness of God's grace and faithfulness. Despite what we as humans may view as the impossible, so many children that need homes and families, God knows each child and their individual story and their personal needs. He is the God who loves them and will provide for each one of them.
This is my friend Stacey from Shepherd's Field. She is also 21. She's been an orphan since she was 4. She has a beautiful voice and likes to dance!
This is my home boy Eli at Maria's. He's two and about the most precious little boy ever! He's a bit mischievous but so sweet and happy!
This cutie is Samuel. He has the most beautiful smile. Whenever I came into his room, he'd crawl up to me smiling and holding his arms up to me.
This is Joey. He's the toughest and most determined little guy I have ever met! He doesn't let anything ever get in his way or stop him.
I should stop now, before I get all teary eyed and whatnot. I just keep reminding myself that God knows and He holds each of these precious little children in his hands.
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Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Shepherd's Field Children's Village
I'm here! After 3 hours of sleep and a somewhat delirious drive to the airport in Beijing to drop the team off then 3 anxious hours waiting for my taxi, I made it safely here!
Really neat place. Very similar to Maria's Big House of Hope but houses older children. Met some cool Chinese young adults who live here. Crazy stories. I feel so immensely blessed to have been adopted.
It's been a long day and I'm exhausted. I feel kind of lonely, it's weird to go from a super close knit group to trying to understand broken English the whole time and just wandering around. Tomorrow my goal is to be more intentional with the kids here. They deserve my undivided attention, despite how I feel. After being here in China, there is nothing I can ever really complain about again.
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Really neat place. Very similar to Maria's Big House of Hope but houses older children. Met some cool Chinese young adults who live here. Crazy stories. I feel so immensely blessed to have been adopted.
It's been a long day and I'm exhausted. I feel kind of lonely, it's weird to go from a super close knit group to trying to understand broken English the whole time and just wandering around. Tomorrow my goal is to be more intentional with the kids here. They deserve my undivided attention, despite how I feel. After being here in China, there is nothing I can ever really complain about again.
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Monday, June 13, 2011
By the way, I'm unsure what my Internet connection will be at Shepherd's Field Children's Village, so if you don't hear from me for a while, don't panic! I will update as I can, but I will be flying home on the 17th so I can update from the Chicago airport that day. Love you guys!
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Leaving Beijing
Today we spent the day at The Forbidden City and Tienanmen Square. It was soooo cool! So much history! A lot to take in.
Tomorrow the team flies back to Chicago and I will be picked up to head to Shepherd's Field Children's Village. I'm kind of exhausted thinking about saying good bye to these people I have grown so close to and trying to psych myself up to meet a bunch of new people. Please be praying for me, that God would strengthen me and fill me with His peace. I really want to go and I know it's gonna be a great experience, but right now I am so physically and mentally drained.
It's about 11pm and we're leaving at 4am so I should go to bed. But thank you all for your prayers! I can't wait to share with you what God has been showing me and how He's growing me and stretching me.
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Tomorrow the team flies back to Chicago and I will be picked up to head to Shepherd's Field Children's Village. I'm kind of exhausted thinking about saying good bye to these people I have grown so close to and trying to psych myself up to meet a bunch of new people. Please be praying for me, that God would strengthen me and fill me with His peace. I really want to go and I know it's gonna be a great experience, but right now I am so physically and mentally drained.
It's about 11pm and we're leaving at 4am so I should go to bed. But thank you all for your prayers! I can't wait to share with you what God has been showing me and how He's growing me and stretching me.
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Sunday, June 12, 2011
Back in Beijing
We left MBHOH today. It was hard saying good bye to everyone.
Hopefully someday I will come back.
We had a smooth flight into Beijing. Funny thing is that the gate next to ours was headed to Guangzhou, the city near where I was born. Too bad I couldn't have hopped onto that plane!
We had lunch in Beijing and then did some shopping, then dinner and now we are back at a hotel. Tomorrow we visit Tienanmen Square and the Forbidden City. Pretty excited about that!
Just chilling and eating ice cream on the sidewalk in Beijing!
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Hopefully someday I will come back.
We had a smooth flight into Beijing. Funny thing is that the gate next to ours was headed to Guangzhou, the city near where I was born. Too bad I couldn't have hopped onto that plane!
We had lunch in Beijing and then did some shopping, then dinner and now we are back at a hotel. Tomorrow we visit Tienanmen Square and the Forbidden City. Pretty excited about that!
Just chilling and eating ice cream on the sidewalk in Beijing!
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Saturday, June 11, 2011
last night at MBHOH
Tonight is our last night here at Maria's. We fly tomorrow from Luoyang to Beijing to spend a few days there before we leave back to the states.
We have to say our good byes tomorrow morning to the kids. Its gonna be hard. But we just have to trust that God who loves them more than we do holds them in His hands and sees the beginning from the end.
Psalm 139, each one of them are fearfully and wonderfully made. God has made no mistake and each of them are precious in His sight.
Resting in Christ tonight and His great love for each of us.
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We have to say our good byes tomorrow morning to the kids. Its gonna be hard. But we just have to trust that God who loves them more than we do holds them in His hands and sees the beginning from the end.
Psalm 139, each one of them are fearfully and wonderfully made. God has made no mistake and each of them are precious in His sight.
Resting in Christ tonight and His great love for each of us.
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Thursday, June 9, 2011
beauty from ashes
We walked around downtown Luoyang tonight. It was cool, felt like we were really in China! The smells, the sights, the people. Can't even begin to count the number of people who tried to talk to me in Chinese! It was almost humorous.
We finished painting the shed today also. Which is cool to be able to leave something behind.
Devotions tonight were heavy. Lots of heart sharing. But it was neat though to see how God has knit all of our hearts together with the same passion and burden to care for orphans.
I don't want to leave this place. I don't want to go back to just existing, to just being okay. God wants so much more for us. He wants to turn our ashes into beauty.
Use me Lord.
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We finished painting the shed today also. Which is cool to be able to leave something behind.
Devotions tonight were heavy. Lots of heart sharing. But it was neat though to see how God has knit all of our hearts together with the same passion and burden to care for orphans.
I don't want to leave this place. I don't want to go back to just existing, to just being okay. God wants so much more for us. He wants to turn our ashes into beauty.
Use me Lord.
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Wednesday, June 8, 2011
laughter
Today has been filled with much laughter! We spent time in the morning playing with babies. We helped paint the nannies parking garage. We had a scavenger hunt. Then we all went out to dinner at a nice Chinese restaurant. Much laughter, much joy, great conversations, great people. The reality of the brevity of this trip is quickly coming to mind. And while it makes me sad, I know God has more things in store for us. Although it'd be nice to just stay here at Maria's and love on these children, God has called each of us to a different path and this time in China is just a part of the journey.
These children and these faces are burned into my mind and heart. It would be wrong to forget their faces, their stories, their lives, their existence. I am now held to a higher accountability due to what I have seen and know. I'm never going to be the same.
God, give me direction. I pray You would use these experiences in our lives individually for your glory.
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These children and these faces are burned into my mind and heart. It would be wrong to forget their faces, their stories, their lives, their existence. I am now held to a higher accountability due to what I have seen and know. I'm never going to be the same.
God, give me direction. I pray You would use these experiences in our lives individually for your glory.
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Monday, June 6, 2011
break my heart for what breaks Yours
June 6, 2011
Today was our first full day at Maria's Big House of Hope. We got the grand tour in the morning and spent most of the day playing with the kids. They are adorable! Their personalities and joy shine past and through whatever physical limitations they might have. Although we are tempted to feel sorry for them and pity them, they have no reservations about their physical limitations. They love and smile and laugh despite what we may term their circumstance as tragic. They simply want to be held and loved and to make a connection with someone. Each precious little child I interacted with kept looking at me in the eyes, as if they were asking me if I was really there and really willing to love them just the way they are.
Seeing these courageous little children and how they have handled the circumstances in their lives makes me think so much about who I am and how I have handled adversity in my life. In their innocence, they don't see anything different about themselves. They don't whine or complain about their lot in life, they are still so open and caring. Perhaps part of it has to do with the fact that most of them don't talk yet! But most likely we would say they just don't understand reality yet, but I'm beginning to think that maybe they understand better than any if us do. It makes me think about what has changed in me as a person to have moved from this innocence of a child to this self-pity and woe is me attitude as an adult? Maybe it isn't just me, but we as a human race as a whole. There is this radical shift from simple understanding and love and faith of a child to this vortex of thoughts and opinions and reasons and theories that we rationalize as adults. I am finally beginning to realize why God said the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these, when referring to the little children.
Dear Lord, renew in my heart a child like faith and innocence. Thank you for using these children to teach me and to grow me. I pray our team will continue to bless and minister and serve these children and the staff here at MBHOH for the remainder of the week. Amen.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Today was our first full day at Maria's Big House of Hope. We got the grand tour in the morning and spent most of the day playing with the kids. They are adorable! Their personalities and joy shine past and through whatever physical limitations they might have. Although we are tempted to feel sorry for them and pity them, they have no reservations about their physical limitations. They love and smile and laugh despite what we may term their circumstance as tragic. They simply want to be held and loved and to make a connection with someone. Each precious little child I interacted with kept looking at me in the eyes, as if they were asking me if I was really there and really willing to love them just the way they are.
Seeing these courageous little children and how they have handled the circumstances in their lives makes me think so much about who I am and how I have handled adversity in my life. In their innocence, they don't see anything different about themselves. They don't whine or complain about their lot in life, they are still so open and caring. Perhaps part of it has to do with the fact that most of them don't talk yet! But most likely we would say they just don't understand reality yet, but I'm beginning to think that maybe they understand better than any if us do. It makes me think about what has changed in me as a person to have moved from this innocence of a child to this self-pity and woe is me attitude as an adult? Maybe it isn't just me, but we as a human race as a whole. There is this radical shift from simple understanding and love and faith of a child to this vortex of thoughts and opinions and reasons and theories that we rationalize as adults. I am finally beginning to realize why God said the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these, when referring to the little children.
Dear Lord, renew in my heart a child like faith and innocence. Thank you for using these children to teach me and to grow me. I pray our team will continue to bless and minister and serve these children and the staff here at MBHOH for the remainder of the week. Amen.
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Maria's Big House of Hope!
We just spent our first night here at MBHOH!
It's an incredible facility. This area is vastly different from Beijing. This feels like China.
We're going to have some time today to spend with the kids. I'm really excited to see them and play with them. Yet at the same time, my heart breaks for them because it feels like we could never do enough for them. I mean, how can playing with them for a few hours for a week really make a change in their lives? At the end of the week we are all going to go home, but for these kids, this is their home, this is their life.
Our team leader, Chris said at the beginning of the week that this trip is not about us. But it's also not simply all about these children. It's all about Jesus. That's the mindset I have to maintain this week, because if I don't, I fear I will break down into tears. It's so easy to think about the what if and only if and how could this work out questions. But I can't remain focused on that. God is bigger than any questions I might have, I just need to trust that He knows the why's.
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It's an incredible facility. This area is vastly different from Beijing. This feels like China.
We're going to have some time today to spend with the kids. I'm really excited to see them and play with them. Yet at the same time, my heart breaks for them because it feels like we could never do enough for them. I mean, how can playing with them for a few hours for a week really make a change in their lives? At the end of the week we are all going to go home, but for these kids, this is their home, this is their life.
Our team leader, Chris said at the beginning of the week that this trip is not about us. But it's also not simply all about these children. It's all about Jesus. That's the mindset I have to maintain this week, because if I don't, I fear I will break down into tears. It's so easy to think about the what if and only if and how could this work out questions. But I can't remain focused on that. God is bigger than any questions I might have, I just need to trust that He knows the why's.
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Sunday, June 5, 2011
Great Wall of China!
June 5
Visited the Great Wall today! Pretty amazing! Still can't believe I'm here! Feels so surreal!
We rode a ski lift up and took a toboggan down! So cool!!
In the airport again about to fly out to Loyoung and see Maria's Big House of Hope!
Tired, but so excited by how God is working through our team and each of us individually.
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Visited the Great Wall today! Pretty amazing! Still can't believe I'm here! Feels so surreal!
We rode a ski lift up and took a toboggan down! So cool!!
In the airport again about to fly out to Loyoung and see Maria's Big House of Hope!
Tired, but so excited by how God is working through our team and each of us individually.
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Saturday, June 4, 2011
first night in Beijing!
Our hotel is ironically called Club Yosemite!
But very lovely!
My roommate Callan and I. We will also be prayer partners through the week.
And of course, no bathroom would be complete without a toilet! Because of course when you're doing your business you may get a hankering for something to eat. Pizza anyone?
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But very lovely!
My roommate Callan and I. We will also be prayer partners through the week.
And of course, no bathroom would be complete without a toilet! Because of course when you're doing your business you may get a hankering for something to eat. Pizza anyone?
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Beijing airport!
We just landed 11pm Beijing time. Tired but oh so excited!
Exchanging money!
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Exchanging money!
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Friday, June 3, 2011
Boarding!
Boarding the airplane to go to China! The next time I step on solid ground I will be back in the country of my birth!!
Yeah passport and boarding pass! The airplane is behind me!
Walking down the walkway to the airplane. I was able to talk to a lady and her daughter who were visiting China with a home study group. Her daughter was 9 years old and super cute! Definitely a connection sharing with her that I had been adopted and telling her where we were going in China on a mission trip. God is all ready working and moving! Thank you Lord for you grace and mercy!
Found my seat! 35 H! Here we go!
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Yeah passport and boarding pass! The airplane is behind me!
Walking down the walkway to the airplane. I was able to talk to a lady and her daughter who were visiting China with a home study group. Her daughter was 9 years old and super cute! Definitely a connection sharing with her that I had been adopted and telling her where we were going in China on a mission trip. God is all ready working and moving! Thank you Lord for you grace and mercy!
Found my seat! 35 H! Here we go!
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let the sitting begin!
So I've met my team! Great group of people! Super stoked! Did a brief orientation and intro and get to know each other bit.
We're just waiting now to board our flight! Yay!
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We're just waiting now to board our flight! Yay!
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hit the ground running!
So today I said good bye to my wonderful host family in Indiana! Thank you Janssen's for letting me stay and putting up with me for the week!
So I thought just two of my friends from Fort Wayne IN were going to drive me up to Chicago. Turned out to be a group of 7 of us! But it was so fun and it meant a lot to me that they all wanted to see me off!
We spent the morning in Chicago, 3 hour drive from IN. We had lunch at Dim Sum Chinatown! Getting me ready for China and all!
"look mom! I'm in China..... Town!!"
Saying good bye at the airport. Bittersweet. Thanks Melody, Cheslie, Sean, Hannah, Laura, and Sam! It's been fun! Next time I will see you in Cali! Hopefully!
Thank you Lord for such wonderful people! You have blessed me with such great friends!
Next stop, China!
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So I thought just two of my friends from Fort Wayne IN were going to drive me up to Chicago. Turned out to be a group of 7 of us! But it was so fun and it meant a lot to me that they all wanted to see me off!
We spent the morning in Chicago, 3 hour drive from IN. We had lunch at Dim Sum Chinatown! Getting me ready for China and all!
"look mom! I'm in China..... Town!!"
Saying good bye at the airport. Bittersweet. Thanks Melody, Cheslie, Sean, Hannah, Laura, and Sam! It's been fun! Next time I will see you in Cali! Hopefully!
Thank you Lord for such wonderful people! You have blessed me with such great friends!
Next stop, China!
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anticipation
I leave for China today!
In a couple of hours some of my friends and I will drive from Fort Wayne, IN up to Chicago O' Hare, IL and I will meet with my ShowHope team at the airport for a few hours before we leave for Beijing at 9 pm.
Then we have a 14 hour nonstop flight to Beijing, China.
I'm nervous, excited, happy, scared; there's a pit in my stomach rolling around and chewing my insides up. I almost feel sick to my stomach, which I don't know why because I should be just excited, right?
I think it's the anticipation. Fear of the unknown. Wonderment of how it will all play out. Everything and anything mixed together and vying for my attention.
Dear Lord, fill me with your peace. I pray I would remain focused on what is important. Please be with our team as we fly to China today, give us unity and fellowship. Please be with my friends and family while I am away. And most importantly, please be with the little children we will be meeting in China. Use us in their lives God I pray. May this mission trip be all about you and not about us. Thank you for this opportunity Jesus, use me and work through me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
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In a couple of hours some of my friends and I will drive from Fort Wayne, IN up to Chicago O' Hare, IL and I will meet with my ShowHope team at the airport for a few hours before we leave for Beijing at 9 pm.
Then we have a 14 hour nonstop flight to Beijing, China.
I'm nervous, excited, happy, scared; there's a pit in my stomach rolling around and chewing my insides up. I almost feel sick to my stomach, which I don't know why because I should be just excited, right?
I think it's the anticipation. Fear of the unknown. Wonderment of how it will all play out. Everything and anything mixed together and vying for my attention.
Dear Lord, fill me with your peace. I pray I would remain focused on what is important. Please be with our team as we fly to China today, give us unity and fellowship. Please be with my friends and family while I am away. And most importantly, please be with the little children we will be meeting in China. Use us in their lives God I pray. May this mission trip be all about you and not about us. Thank you for this opportunity Jesus, use me and work through me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
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Thursday, June 2, 2011
packing!
I leave tomorrow! Packing and doing laundry today. It feels so surreal to think I will be on a plane in 24 hours and leaving for China!
Oh the joys of packing!
I'm supposed to make all of this fit in there?!?
And this?
My cute little slippers to wear in the orphanage! Ahhhhh distraction strikes again!!
Oh the joys of packing!
I'm supposed to make all of this fit in there?!?
And this?
My cute little slippers to wear in the orphanage! Ahhhhh distraction strikes again!!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
the prologue
I leave this Friday, June 3 from Chicago O' Hare to Beijing, China. I'm going with the organization ShowHope, founded by Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife Mary Beth. In China we will be visiting Maria's Big House of Hope (MBHOH) in the Henan Province in China. MBHOH is a 6 story facility that specializes in caring for special needs orphans under the age of 5 years old. Here they will recieve life-saving operations and the love and care they so desperately need. ShowHope also helps families financially to adopt by way of donations and grants.
We will spend some time in Beijing and visit the Great Wall of China and the Forbidden City. But we will be spending the majority of our time at Maria's Big House of Hope, which I am the most excited about!
You see, I was adopted from China when I was about 2 years old as a special needs orphan myself. I was born in China in the Hunan Province in 1989 and was abandoned as an infant. While living in China, my right hand was burned. Yet God used these events in my life to allow me to be adopted by a loving Christian family and to grow up in America with all the privileges and opportunities America affords. Although at times it's been a struggle and questions of "why" seemed to continually haunt me, I know God has put me where I am for a reason and a purpose. Everything that happens in our lives happens for a specific purpose.
Here is a picture from the first time that my mom held me on September 12, 1991 at the orphanage in China.
I hope and pray that through my personal testimony and story I will be able to encourage and love on these little children that I meet in China and that through this trip, God would give me a vision for how He would want me to serve in the mission field, whether it be at home or overseas.
Thank you for your prayers!
We will spend some time in Beijing and visit the Great Wall of China and the Forbidden City. But we will be spending the majority of our time at Maria's Big House of Hope, which I am the most excited about!
You see, I was adopted from China when I was about 2 years old as a special needs orphan myself. I was born in China in the Hunan Province in 1989 and was abandoned as an infant. While living in China, my right hand was burned. Yet God used these events in my life to allow me to be adopted by a loving Christian family and to grow up in America with all the privileges and opportunities America affords. Although at times it's been a struggle and questions of "why" seemed to continually haunt me, I know God has put me where I am for a reason and a purpose. Everything that happens in our lives happens for a specific purpose.
Here is a picture from the first time that my mom held me on September 12, 1991 at the orphanage in China.
I hope and pray that through my personal testimony and story I will be able to encourage and love on these little children that I meet in China and that through this trip, God would give me a vision for how He would want me to serve in the mission field, whether it be at home or overseas.
Thank you for your prayers!
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